It Begins & Ends with YOU...

In speaking with a friend today who is dealing with a painful loss and heartbreak because of circumstances beyond his control, he expressed to me that he is angry with God. Allow me to preface this blog with I believe it is every person's right to 'feel' as they need to, especially in times of sorrow. I do not judge and as I have conveyed in other blogs, sometimes your heart takes over your mind; there is no reasoning to find... you just know how you feel and nothing more.

As is such, this blog is not directed at his feelings, but more so that his turmoil began the wheels turning in my own mind, about how much weight we place on God for changing, managing and curing all our problems. Don't get me wrong, I am certainly one to say, 'Let go and let God' because I do believe a.) in a Higher Power and b.) that speaking what you need and desire can bring it into existence, but at the same time, does it not require effort on our part? How many times can you find yourself in the exact same situation and cry out for help, when you haven't very well helped yourself? Albert Einstein once remarked, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

I know I have had my fair share of issues that have reared their ugly head in my life, but if I give honest consideration to not just the immediate, but the events leading up to it... I can usually see where I contributed to it all going astray. If there are things going on in your life that are negative, chances are you're not doing something right. This is the hard reality I had to face 4 years ago and even still now... when things go wrong, as they often will, I have to consider... what led up to this situation? It is easy to want to blame someone for our hurt, our current demise, and I guess God is an easy target since he doesn't 'talk back' in the literal sense, but how often can we really say that when things go wrong, we do some serious introspection to change future outcomes? Are your problems of your own doing?

Don't get me wrong... tragic things befall us all. I am not speaking of an untimely death of a loved one being your fault, nor am I saying the car accident you got into, you willed into your life because you aren't doing right. But the other stuff... the stuff you COULD have prevented if you were taking care of business.... yeah, you can't be angry with God when you didn't care enough to take care of you and yours. He can only do so much, the rest is up to you. Praying for that guy to start treating you right, isn't going to happen... you have to leave that joker who shows you no respect and seek a MAN that knows a woman's worth. Just praying for money to come flowing in, or someone to help you get a job, a degree, an opportunity- whatever... isn't going to happen! You have to work for it, seek it, earn it or look for it... it's up to you!

Now, I am not discrediting prayer by any means, because I believe that when you're heart is in the right place, when you are doing right and seeking to find, they are answered. There are too many miracles that I have witnessed or heard of in people's lives not to believe that there is a Higher Power looking out for us all, but in the end it is up to us to start the process and finish the race. We are resilient creatures, and stronger because of our battles that we win in life, but to blame God or anyone else for that matter, or to try to justify your current situation and allow yourself to sink to a level of sub-par, is just unacceptable! Some people may disagree with my theology, but the fact of doing for yourself and not blaming your slights in life on others, is tried and true! There are too many people in this world with less- ability, money, love, opportunity, etc - for any of us to be complaining about what we aren't getting or what we need to make it happen.

You want change in your life? You have to be the change... it will always start with you.

What if...

What if you could go back... what would you change? You can't, but what would you- if you could? Everyone says they don't regret, they wouldn't change a moment of circumstance!? I disagree... I think this is the luxury that we try to afford the soul- to ease the hurt, to mend the hole that sits in our heart when we lose what we thought we had a grasp of in life.

Pondering... contemplating- What if everything you were doing before switched up, you mixed up, you threw out? What if everything you once knew had changed so dramatically that it changed you in season, and in turn, you no longer recognized the path you once ventured out upon? The course and direction of your path became somewhere along the way lost, misguided and now recognized as such. Would you continue on the path because it's the only way you have known for so long? What if this path is full of uncertainty, possible failure, but in present tense- bliss? What if this new path, though full of ups and downs, could just possibly set you back on track to a true sense of you? What if all this was true.. what would you do?

What if what once was is no longer? No longer what you thought existed does... absence does not make anything grow, but a sense of loss.... a sense of longing for what one can have not. To stand peering at a door closed is to realize all hopes have gone with the last bit of air pressed beyond the jam. It's a tragic way to live life, to allow it to consume you, to take and take till it breathes in all around you its stank breath of failure. What if you shook it all off... started anew.... became what you felt and really believed what you know? To realize the door that closed was not your door anyway... the door that closed was upon someone else as well... your door is just 4 doors down and is open, waiting on you to finalize your journey. What if this was all true... what would you do?

It will always be easier to give up than to look up, to sit down than to take a stand, walk than to run. The movement you decide to make at each turn determines where you'll land in a hour, a day, a year, your lifetime- keep moving... even if it's not the right move... keep moving.

Peace.





Tracy Chapman, "Change"