Rubberband Man...

I've had some stuff heavy on the brain and yah know, it's been a minute since I have written... guess with everything spinning in my life, just haven't had the brain power to put my words into any form of prose. It is not a rant, but more of an observation and it *could* go both ways, and let me just throw in the disclaimer that seems to always need to be written... this is not inclusive of *all*... just my own take on what I've seen going down.

The whole concept of the rubberband theory... in my circle of g/fs we discuss if it is truly valid, or if it is just an excuse for bad behavior- emotional detachment if you will and here is my current take- it is BS. For those of you scratching your head, I'll bring ya to speed so you can stay with me here. Rubberband theory is the concept that *some* men tend to ebb and flow in relationships. The need for autonomy (independence) from the woman they are in a relationship with- which given the nature of relationships is healthy, if the actions taken are not hurtful to either party.

However, the rubberband theory is these men who are constantly on a relationship emotional menstrual cycle of high and lows. He wants you, he doesn't want you... he is sure, he is not sure... meh. These men who feel the need to draw you in and then push you away- citing whatever emotional disconnection that fits for the moment and allows them to run away are cowards... and unavailable (emotionally, intimately, etc) to boot. Thus, we as women are left hold the 'w.t.h. just happened' bag of poo they decided to drop off at our doorstep aaaaaaand being women, we usually gather a few (hundred) lol of our closest, nearest and dearest to ponder and boil over until we have recovered our 'in-shock' moment.

Then like the beautiful clockwork that life seems to bring... you walk away and he suddenly appears to strive to follow you wherever you're going. Oh helloooooo.... what's going on Rubberband Man?!

I don't have all the answers but I think I have a good feel on this now and let me tell you... I do not think it is positively intentional, but I do think it is a character flaw. The man doesn't want to commit because he isn't ready, because he is still entertaining his options, and sorry, but let me be frank -- those who practice this tug-o-war of the heart are emotionally defunct. He seeks some semblence of control in the matters of HIS heart by playing the strings in your relationship and thinking he can draw ya in... keep ya till he has his needs met and then toss ya back, so he can go play a while longer. It is only when we give this power to these men that the cycle continues to ebb and flow.

Granted, do not get me wrong... have I been in the man stance where I wasn't sure what I wanted and needed more time- suuuuuure and that is why in a relationship, if we come to that bridge, I'll let you pass and give you all time and space if you ask for it, with no resentment (ps- just don't expect me to wait here for you and get all pissy when I move on). But the ebb and flow, the messing with my heart, the I want you, I am not sure I want you, but I want your time and your heart.... DOES NOT WORK FOR ME. As women, we rock and we deserve better and granted, there will always be that girl waiting in the wings to take your place... but the key to remember is you will always be the woman that said no and walked away, with dignity in tact. Life is too short- let him save the drama for his mamma!!

As for YOU, Rubberband Man- get with the program or get to stepping because your ways are old, and like ALL rubberbands- will eventually breakdown and what will you be left with then, ma dear???

.... flaccidity. LOL