In Parts...

Tell me.. tell me, please.
How do you do it with such ease?
How do you let it roll on over and move about like the breeze
I want to know what you feel
I need to know what releases you to proceed.
Do you feel as I do, twisting and hanging amidst invisible trees?
Tangled.

The distraction that resides I wish would take up new residence
Elsewhere... anywhere, just not here.
I asked for it, I know... yet, I never thought it would all go
So suddenly
Here I stand waiting for the next moment
Racing ahead in my mind
Searching time for answers that will not be given
Aching.

I strive to make the wells dry
To shut the windows that once were open
Yet it is no use.... utterly futile
Rivers seem to flow at the smallest reminder
Back to the beginning, rolling through it all sloooowly.
Holding onto messages and mementos
Silliness of a young girl
Longing.

Before you, there was just me
Happily, drifting
Moving forward with dreams
Things to do and see
Now, after you
I am trying to remember me
Without you
I know I am there, yet everyday
I want to share with you
My moments of...
Whatever, simplicity of just being.
Missing.

Embracing Grace...

The depth of loss makes you realize truly how much you hold in the palm of your hand. It is easy to wrestle with the "shoulda-woulda-coulda's" of life, to get wrapped up in the moments which lend us so little time for the truly important things in life, but when that ill-fated moment stares you somberly in the face, there is nothing left but grace. The comfort of what has passed had to be enough, as ultimately the choices made are set in time forever. Right or wrong, there is no magic wand to roll back the hours of time, to find yourself in the embrace of your loved one, or to erase a mistake. We each must tuck away these moments of clarity and either grow from them, or be smothered by them. The difficulty of letting go is just that... letting go. It is releasing them, and yourself from the accountability of holding the heartache any longer than necessary. It is when you realize what has come to pass, that we acknowledge the blatant fact that we didn't do enough, care enough, or simply meet in the middle; it is time 'to let go' and forgive yourself and them. Yet, firmly within the experience and mottled by heartache is a real life lesson. One of time is so very short, as we are not guaranteed time or life on this earth. Our experiences are but brief flitting moments scattered amongst so many who touch our lives, and therefore embracing every moment, giving when we don't feel like it, going that extra mile for someone dear to us is ever so important, and forgiving ourselves and others for the shortcomings which come from imperfection... for tomorrow may be too late.

Our Grandparents...

The special gift of warming a heart with the mere touch of their hand;
Their compassion and generosity,
Their moments given freely,Their needs set aside,
To love and care for their family, whenever or wherever the time may arise.

The ability to convey the wisdom of years passed,
Imparting in their loved ones memories and values to last.
Their warm glow and gentle disposition,
Makes them ever so dear to all whom they know.

It is their love that is timeless and stands the test of years,
Through laughter, joy and tears,
And though we each venture in our own life trek,
They are always with us, ever so near.

We hold them in our hearts,
With pride and great esteem,
They are so much of what make each of us beam!
From silly riddles to stern lectures,
Tickles and giggles and lessons on life,
They shared each of our childhood dreams and encouraged us through our adult strife.

They held onto their mottos of life lessons learned,
To share and pass on to us what their own diversions yearned...
'Anything worth doing is worth doing right',
They gave us stories for insight and delight,
But so we would gain respect for what hard work earns,
And possibly provide for ourselves an even better life at each turn.

A solid family set firmly in faith of Jehovah God,
Still with its own piece of life's problems,
But a love and strong legacy woven within the foundation,
Because effort, honesty and caring for others were a few of the values instilled,
It is through their actions and effort, a wonderful family could be built.

We owe a lot to our Grand-Parents,
More than we ever could truly repay,
It was their love and dreams that began what we know of our lives today.

To our Grand-Parents...
Time may march on,
Dawn may set to dusk,
But your guidance and love is that in which we always trust.

In loving memory of Pa-Pa
(Dad & Grandfather alike)
February 5, 2009

You will always be my hero.

...

A Dream Deferred
by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore-- And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over-- like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

By Max Ehrmann©1927 Bell & Son Publishing, LLC