I received news last night that an acquaintance, who was only 42, died in her sleep two days ago. It was shocking to say the least.... someone at this age, just passing away with no warning. The fact that she was just 12 years older than me is unnerving.
There is something about death that cripples our human spirit... the finality, the loss of opportunities, the sheer gravity of how short one’s time upon the earth can truly be and yet, in the strangest ways, it can renew the spirit at the same time. I suppose it is a bit different for everyone, but death, especially when it comes close to you, certainly makes you reflect. I don’t fear death, as I feel when it comes, for one thing, there is nothing I can do to change the fact and also, I feel I will be in a better place. Maybe that is a morbid way to think of it, IDK, but it comforts me. Albeit, I would still have to say the not knowing when, is still intimidating to me.
At 20, I had no qualms with life or where I was heading... plenty of time to figure all that out. I still embraced life, but I wrestled less with the mysteries of it all than I do now. At 30, at least for me, the big picture comes into play.. having a keen awareness of time and my obligation to the gift I have been given. Squandering it away no longer is no longer desired, nor a viable option. There are things which you ’plan’ in life- some come to pass and some are still just out of reach. Yet, I long to understand more, feel more, and live more.
I guess that is where releasing what one cannot control comes into play. It seems to me, when things really start to fall into place for me is when I allow life to just happen- I step back and stop planning. I know that probably evokes horror in some people, as I think we are taught from an early age to plan our lives, and to a certain extent I would agree. However, when the mysteries of life pop up- those occurrences which cannot be explained away easily, or blessings bestowed upon us that alter our course a bit, I think the plan kind of goes out the window. When you are in the thick of it, maybe it is to our benefit to just use the knowledge of past experiences and to allow whatever will be, to be. Who knows, maybe by always sticking to the plan or what we think we want, we miss out on the opportunity to experience what could alter our lives for the better, in ways we could only imagine.
We have options everyday to experience the fullness of life or to settle for mediocrity in our journey and maybe there is just only so much you can plan, or should plan for that matter; yet sometimes waiting through it all can be a true test of wills. It seems to me, when we fully release ourselves of the need to have a to-do list and just do, life opens up to us more, and thus by releasing, we enable ourselves to receive the gift of embracing life.
Every Sunrise Offers a New Opportunity for Change!
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." ~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
Thursday, April 3, 2008
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"A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." ~Albert Einstein
